From Battle Worn to Blood Born: The Michelle Blood Story

Early on, Michelle opted out of life…of feeling anything, of achieving anything, of being anything. Childhood trauma and the numbing agents of addiction put most of her emotions on ice—except for anger. It was always there—ready to erupt at a second’s notice. A self-described “bully,” she excelled at intimidation…until the day the love of God changed everything.

It’s a trite saying, but true: Hurting people hurt people. In that regard, Michelle Blood had a solid head start in life. As a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, her father inflicted the worst kind of hurt on his daughter—both mental and physical. And on her mother, too.

Michelle was too young to understand why her father acted as he did, or even that it wasn’t normal. All she knew was she being bullied and beaten at home—and mocked unmercifully at school. “Nobody liked me,” says Michelle. “At school, I was teased and called things because of my last name and chased home almost every day.”

When Michelle was only 11, she was violated by an older boy. By her early teens she was sexually active, yet instead of being protective of her virtue as a normal, loving father would, he’d make fun of her for it. Her mother’s reaction was having no reaction at all. “My mother was so emotionally dissociated from being abused for so many years, she didn’t notice much of anything…including when I would come home smashed,” says Michelle.

Michelle’s steady drinking began at home where her parents would allow her to “dabble” in alcohol. Drugs done outside of the home were added to the mix and soon addiction drove all her impulsive decisions…including repeatedly running away from home. Eventually, she was placed in a group facility where she remained until graduation at 18.

Michelle had barely unpacked her bags when a knock-down, drag-out fight with her father landed her in a squad car…and a one-way trip to the Good News Rescue Mission. It was not a welcome sight. She called a friend and left, only to later return.

“I was not a good mom.”

“Living in a homeless shelter just didn’t fit in with how I thought about myself,” says Michelle. “I considered myself too good for the Mission. I flat out just didn’t like homeless people.”

She didn’t like homeless people, yet before long she’d become one of them. After moving in and out of her father’s house, partying, doing meth and having children with various partners, at 28 she found herself on the street. When discovering her youngest daughter had been sexually abused by Michelle’s boyfriend of eight years, CPS placed both daughters in foster care. Eventually, the younger one was adopted out. At 2-1/2, her son went to live with his father. Whatever vestige of normalcy Michelle had clung to, evaporated.

“I was not a good mom for a very long time,” admits Michelle, fighting back tears.

Not-So-Sweet Oblivion

“I was so far into drugs and alcohol that it’s all just a blur,” says Michelle. “I can’t remember hardly anything. I just know it was really bad. But what happened to my daughter…that’s something I can never forget.”

After her daughter was taken away, Michelle went back with her daughter’s biological father—another bad decision. Eventually, she left that relationship, penniless and alone.

Michelle soon found herself back on the street, cycling in and out of the Mission, spending time in jail and surfing couches—until there were no more left to crash on. Despondent, she attempted suicide. Maybe then, she hoped, she would wake up from her nightmare

Thankfully, Michelle survived. God was not about to abandon her to the grave.

“I wasn’t just mean…I was really, really, mean.”

Michelle returned to the Mission yet again—eventually entering the Recovery Program. Just months in, she was kicked out for aggressive behavior. “I was angry…and a bully,” says Michelle. “I wasn’t just mean…I was really, really, mean. I just didn’t care.”

From there, Michelle went through three different recovery programs in Shasta County. Yet even though she got clean and sober, she became a “dry drunk”—rage without the rum.

“I was really horrible,” admits Michelle. “I was also entitled. When back at the Mission, I took the three meals a day for granted. I took there being a safe place to sleep for granted…and this was from someone who not that long ago was sleeping under a bridge! But somehow I still thought I was superior.”

An Inside Job

Eventually, after several relapses, a failed rehab romance, and more time on the streets, Michelle returned to the Mission. But this time it was different. It was “now or never,” she had decided, and that’s when everything began to shift. Six months later her attitude had done a 180.

It wasn’t outward conformity: her heart had changed. This was an “inside job.” God was getting through. Michelle recalls the day she was asked to be on staff. She was completely shocked. “I thought they were joking,” says Michelle. “I started crying. Because even though I had been sober since June 13th, 2021, I knew what a horrible person I had been.”

That radical change wasn’t just happenstance. It was the love and mercy of God that brought the real transformation. Michelle had finally allowed Jesus to heal her broken and traumatized heart. She’d been set free. “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36).

Raised in a nominally Christian home, Michelle had a semblance of right and wrong, but little to no Bible. “We never read the Bible. And it’s only been in the last year, I’m starting to do that. Honestly, I’m somewhat struggling with it. But I keep on reading and believing God will illuminate the words. And it already has.”

The Mission has helped her in that pursuit. Pastor Ray Simon conducts a weekly Bible study and his wife, Carol, does one-on-one spiritual tutoring with Michelle. “My heart isn’t blackened anymore,” she says. “God has opened it up and I’ve begun feeling empathy for people. Now when I see anyone hurting, I can feel their pain; I can feel their struggles. I no longer feel superior to them. Because I am one of them.”

Love Wins

Perhaps no single incident embodies Michelle’s transformation more than an experience she recently had during a group Bible study.

“I was doing devotions and in the middle of reading a Bible passage, I broke down,” shares Michelle. “I looked at everyone in that room and heard my own voice saying aloud that I loved them…each and every one of them. The love was palpable to everyone. Before, I wasn’t loving myself, I hated myself. And that’s why I had been a bully. But now I could tell each one of those people I loved them and mean it with my whole heart.”

No longer a “mean girl,” Michelle has experienced the kind of unconditional love that changes everyone, and everything. She’s humble. She’s grateful. She glows. But the real proof is in “the pudding”—her family. In spite of her children having been taken away, she now has good relationships with all three of them—including her youngest who has suffered the most. When God redeems a life, He doesn’t just stop there.

With all her wanderings, Michelle is astounded how God is using her to help others: the bullies, the bullied, the battered and those beaten-down by life. Her landing pad has become her launching pad. And she’s recruiting passengers. Destination: Resurrection Life.

“If it wasn’t for the Mission and people’s faith in me, I’d probably be dead,” says Michelle. “And because of my horrible attitude, I made it a revolving door. Yet still, I kept returning here. And still, they kept taking me back. And each time I was here, it seems seeds were sown until one day they just sprouted. Now at age 54, I’ve finally got the life I never thought I’d have—or ever deserved.”

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About the Author:

Jenni Keast is a freelance writer based in NorCal.  She’s also a lover of the Great Outdoors, photography, design and all things mid-century.  Her favorite authors are Holy Spirit  the Bible) G.K. Chesterson, C.S. Lewis, Leif Enger and Walter Isaacson, to name just a few.